My Reflection on Woman's Studies 1100:

This course as a whole was very informative. This course provides the information you need to empower yourself and others, a course about female struggles in history and why we are the way we are. Personally I have always been afraid of big groups of men, there is something about the group complexion where if one person gets something going the rest will follow that has always made me tremble. Recently I have been telling my friends that I am a Feminist and just finishing the article “Why I’m a Feminist” written by Lauren Anderson backs me up with my decision, and I find it quite comforting. There is something so soothing about this course, the material is scary, complex, and statistically and emotionally based and yet I find a comfort within it all. The classroom complexity of women and few men is space to breathe, I love the men in the class and I automatically respect them and find trust in the simple fact that they chose, on their own, to sit down and be informed. Feminism is such a scattered topic because people are not united in the definition, but my definition is that you are a Feminist if you stand against domestic abuse, discrimination, animal abuse, and oppression in any and every scenario. Woman’s Studies as a course should be rather mandatory, if men could see that women are not just sitting in a classroom crying and arguing over the hatred, maybe they would open their eyes to the damage that is done to the female gender on a daily basis. My own consciousness is more aware, eyes open and heart open, to everything that goes on around me. I no longer hate other women just because of their looks or something they might have said. I now feel I have lingered into an overall understanding of why the female gender feels the need to guard themselves every second of everyday. The biggest part of my reflection are the statistics, hardcore, organized information that highlights are the pain and sorrow that flutters around the lives of women. Sometimes it takes physical evidence to even start suspicion, but physical evidence shouldn’t be needed in courtrooms. Women are abused just because they are women and this is so disgusting and rather “slave-like.” The female gender and all of it’s different cultures and generations should not be subject to abuse simply because we don’t have a penis. What if everybody thought that way? What if everybody took this course and opened their eyes? I wonder if people would act differently at parties, I wonder if men would respect their girlfriends more. I wonder if society would look in the mirror and realize how disgusting the law is when it doesn’t prevent violence against women. I just wonder if everything could change simply because of statistics and realizing what they mean, each individual stat, I think it could. I honestly think more people would change if they were informed of everything that occurs against women every day. That maybe if we could convince men of what the women’s perspective looks like nowadays, they wouldn’t want to open their eyes and follow through. I wonder if men could handle it, but with all that muscle and build, I don’t think they would stand a chance. Men need to open their eyes and women need to do everything in their power to get men to inform men. If gender is supposed to stand together, then men who understand need to inform others. Feminism is not as complex of a subject as people believe it to be and Feminists are regular people striving for a better world. Stand together, stand strong, stand forever.

Meanwhile, deep in Megan's body, an Ulcer was growing.

I am stressed to the max and there is no time for proper relief.

Life is a frustrating entity of constant change. However, the imprints other people can make on us during a thirty minute discussion are endless.

It’s how you feel during the race, not the medal you get at the end.

The real struggles in life cannot be graded on a piece of paper.

Next week, bite me.

1) Mass Woman’s Studies project due
2) 4-page Psychology paper due
3) Academic Writing paper due
4) Woman’s Studies questions due
5) Psychology Midterm
6) Study for Woman’s Studies final exam
7) Study for Psychology final exam
8) Study for Academic Writing final exam
9) Choose courses for next semester
10) Start my new job at Winners

Keep in mind I get headaches everyday and my back is a rock and I’m a few hundred dollars in debt. I've been trying to plan my birthday for a month now but everybody wants to bring guests and few actually wanna celebrate for my birthday. This is too much on my plate and I just wanna sleep through all of it.

I can't fucking stand this pain anymore.

These headaches everyday hurt so much and I can’t even explain it anymore, it just really fucking hurts and maxing out on Advil doesn’t take it away. Little sleep for a few days and I feel like utter shit and I get sick, that’s happened too. I’m just a lump of uncomfortable feelings with a wagon of stress tied behind me. How the fuck am I expected to do College, work and homework with all this pain? It really hurts. Scream or cry? It’s the same shit tomorrow.

I know, I know.

I know it gets better and I also know that takes time. This wound will eventually heal, leaving a scar and injecting strength, and I’ll become stronger than ever.

I wish I healed faster.

I have a cut on my right ankle from shaving, it hurts. My opposite ring finger nail and my thumbnail, both are ripped into my nail-bed and throb everyday. Headaches continue everyday and tense everywhere to the point where my chiropractor kept asking repeatedly about school. Truth is, it’s everything. I have a knot in my neck and my back is a rock. I’m falling apart.

It's the little things.

Kyle: Alright I gotta start walking M&M :)
Me: Hahaha
Kyle: That's my nickname for you.
Me: Okay :D

The search for Love: It’s not corny, cheesy, or pathetic. It’s reality.

I think you can make your own movie relationship, all you see in the movies is two hours… that’s nothing compared to a lifetime :)

Happy Birthday Amy!

Happy Birthday to my loving sister that has continually listened to all my crap for 17years. She is now 22 and a gorgeous 22 I must say. She is amazing when it comes to running this Horse Rescue, staying on track with school, going to work and still making time for her friends. She’s not kidding when she wears a Wonder Woman costume for Halloween, but she is more than that. She’s my loving sister that I will forever love and be grateful for. Happy Birthday Amy!

“It hurts to know that no matter who you are, you can be reduced to a thing to be penetrated, and that men will buy movies about that, and that in many of those movies your humiliation will be the central theme.”
- Robert Jensen [A Cruel Edge: the painful truth about today’s pornography]

I just can’t accept it, it’s been months and I haven’t accepted any of it.

When I love somebody, when I call somebody my best-friend, when I get into a relationship, it sticks. My feelings are never fake, they linger months afterwards and torture me and there is nothing I can do about it. I can only sit up late at night and feel it, all my myself, wiping away my own tears. It’s only me, this is why I feel so alone. It’s only me, late at night, sobbing over people I would have given up my life for.

PIERCINGS!

I’d rather have a craving for food than pain and metal but what can ya do?

NEVEREST

So I love their album “About Us” because their voices are beautiful and somewhat a boy band and I like that sorta thing. “Blame Me” is one of my favorites and of course “About us” and “Everything”, just beautiful. These guys seem to have the right morals and somewhat alike my emotions, it’s calming. “Blame Me” looks like a new favorite but that’s just cause it works for me. It explains how I seem to appear as the bad guy when really I care and than it becomes too hard and I gotta freeze up and protect myself. I become bitter because it’s all I know, I guess it just takes some special people to really understand how I am… even if I’m not completely sure yet. I need a chance, because I will explain myself eventually if you ask but otherwise, I just bundle up into a heavyweight champ of disappointment. This song is wonderful.

I don’t want to get invited to plans that won’t happen anymore. It hurts

Loneliness is lethal.

The feeling of loneliness is lethal, slaughtering my dreams of entrapping the qualities of a soldier. This feeling of brutal darkness, this echo of lost hope, this cage of memories. I wish I were stronger, I wish I could see muscles to ensure my strength was real, true, pure. I have only encased myself in a lead box where I cannot be seen by Superman. I have to fight this, fight this battle all alone. I wish I were stronger. If only I was just a little bit stronger.

It’s better to light a candle in the dark, then fear not being able to turn the lights on.

FEAR:

Darkness, the shadow invading the night. This starless sky, shade of black, an even cloud that always lingers on back. Evil, space-less fog, unraveling upon the city with only blackouts in sight. Demons swimming through the streets with swelling urges of chaos, tears, and fright. A symbol of the nightmare, the reason we keep on the light.

One day, the human race is going to turn on itself.

Me: "IUCN said Thursday that a quarter of all mammals are at risk of extinction, according to its updated Red List of endangered species."

Alyssa: Not cool!

Me: Not at all, but you're adopting a sea lion for me and that counts. That's donating to this cause, this is what the WWF tries to prevent but they need help. My friend Amy said she is adopting a Polar Bear and that's fucking awesome! It may seem small but when you get enough people to do it, it stands for something.

Facebook status: kudos to Megan Lizee for this. save the polar bears ♥

Me: Man I'm so happy your thinking of adopting one!

Amy: ‎:D I looked at it and I'm still deciding
which one, but I'm definitely doing it!

Me: AWH THAT IS AMAZING! :D :D :D

Amy: :D

Tomorrow the whole world will be wishing for happiness.

The hope always returns.

I feel like I can’t keep anything good, everything just fades away or I walk. It’s as if I lost so many people that were important to me that I tried to fill the gap with work and I ended up losing that too. Only now do I find myself visiting the chances of friendship once again, only now am I debating looking for another lover. Only now, am I beginning to see a hopeful future again. Everything is stripped of me and all these tears make it seem as if this won’t last for long, but as long as you can see a shred of sunshine behind the trees… you’ll know it’s there forever.

I got an interview at Winners on Sunday, hopefully this goes well.

Tomorrow we all wish for something... I guess I'm debating that tonight.

In a sense the one thing I’ve always wanted to have is a relationship as tight as brothers. I don’t just want best-friends anymore, best-friends leave. However, boys don’t just desert each-other over fights, big or small. If anything, I’m jealous of men’s relationships with one another. I think that if women had that strong of a relationship, then they would be stronger individuals. Feminism wouldn’t be so scary and Woman’s Rights would be moving along alot faster, but women are not only fighting against a government full of masculinity, they are also fighting against their own.

I am a Feminist! Well, maybe I am?

I look at Feminism as an army standing against oppression. I think that if you stand against racism, animal cruelty, domestic abuse, woman not being treated as equals, and the horrific ways homosexuals are treated, you are a feminist. This semester I’ve been taking a Woman’s Studies course and it’s really opened my eyes to all the issues, hidden and public, that deal with oppression. I agree that Feminism works because most of these issues deal with the cruelty against women, but that doesn’t mean it only stands for that. Even just in the small two months I’ve been taking this course I have been ridiculed for it, I have had people laugh and say “why would you take such a thing, that’s not gonna get you anywhere.” I think people are rather ridiculous with these close minded views that Feminists are “man-haters.” Fuck you! I love men, I love the power they have and how soft they act towards women when they care about them. I love the assholes because it’s only human to get hurt and become bitter. I love the lazy guys that don’t know how to cook and the overachievers that run the show. What I don’t agree with, are the men that beat their wives, are the men that scare their children, the men that ignore their families in order to be rich. I hate very specific types of men. Woman’s Studies did not alienate me to do anything, it only provided the information they don’t teach on a daily basis. I love this course and I don’t think people should be afraid of calling themselves a Feminist. Men can be Feminist, they can stand for that if they believe what it stands for. If you stand against oppression and dream of equality, you can state what you are, it’s okay. This word has so much baggage to so many people, as a “man-hating” or a “feminazi.” I just don’t understand why our society is so close minded that even just taking a course to learn about your history, you get ridiculed. What’s the difference between being black and wanting to know your history and being a women and wanting to know your history? Most Feminists are just like me, they believe what they believe and it happens to fall under a label or stereotype. I just hope you guys won’t ridicule every man or women that decides they don’t care what baggage the word Feminist has. Feminism stands for alot more than you think, and unless you have the facts I hope you have enough respect to listen.

This is not just my world, this is our world.

When you ignore me you are ignoring what I stand for. You are not only ignoring what’s really important in my life but your ignoring how I feel. I say you should adopt, put some money towards conservation, and you say you don’t want to. You say it’s my thing, but you don’t realize this is not just my world, this is also your world. This is our world and I need more people to stand beside me, more people to stand with me. I need you. I need all of you. Now will you stand beside me? Will you hold my hand? Will you carry on what I am trying to start here? I’m only asking you for one thing, please adopt. http://www.worldwildlife.org/gift-center/gifts/Species-Adoptions.aspx. I have adopted a Giraffe, a Humpback Whale, and partially paid for a Polar Bear for my friends birthday. I have donated $100 so far towards the World Wildlife Fund [WWF] and for Christmas I’ll be getting a Polar Bear from my Aunt which means another $25 or $50 donated and than I’ll be adopted myself a Sea Lion and a Turtle which is another $50 donated. I have also adopted Killer Whales through the Vancouver Aquarium who are also trying to save our oceans from PCB chemicals and pollution. I have donated $195 to that and my friends donated $60 when they adopted me a whale. So far I have donated $295 towards our environment and these endangered species. I’m asking for your help, I will continue adopting whales and elaborating on my list from the WWF but I do need help. From the WWF, 25,000 adoptions are done each year and 85% of those are done through the Holidays. Make this year count, I’m begging you. I am so proud that Coca-Cola is donating 2 million over the course of five years, it’s not that much for them to give but neither is $25 for you to give. Every cent counts, it really does. Donate to this good cause and get your certificate and a picture. It’s beautiful. Go out and see these animals in the wild, read about what they are doing to protect our planet. We need these guys, and they need you. Thank you for reading this, and I hope you take some time out of your day to think about it. Thank you.

Some people are just so beautiful!

Last year a few of my good friends adopted me a Killer Whale through the Vancouver aquarium, and it was so appreciated that they got involved like that. This year, a few weeks ago actually, I ended up seeing that whale “Mike” while Whale Watching by the San Juan islands and it was priceless. While on that trip I also saw Sea Lions and it turns out they are endangered and now I want to adopt one through the WWF [World Wildlife Fund] and it turns out that my friend Alyssa was planning on getting me an animal from them through the adoption program for my birthday but didn’t know which one. So now she is getting me a Sea Lion. I just fucking love people like that, who understand the obvious and are willing to go that extra step to make it happen. Such beautiful, amazing people these days. She is also planning on asking for adoptions for her birthday, what a fucking gorgeous woman! Holy shit. So appreciated! Much love xoxoxo.

MASTER PLANS!

So I’m beginning to understand that alot of people just don’t care and alot of people only care about certain things. I really care about the WWF [World Wildlife Fund] and saving animals and the environment but other people care about politics and what’s happening with the Occupy Wallstreet and alot of people wanna save kids in Africa. However, even when people don’t give a shit about what I preach, people still wanna party. Those speeches at the beginning of dances saying what a great thing you are doing, nobody really cares. So I figure if I just host a dance, rent a hall and charge people enough to make a profit I can use that to raise money and awareness for the WWF campaigns. I wanna do something, I wanna help. Now I have a good way of doing this. There is this little hall I’ll be using for my birthday and if that works out with noise levels and such I can use that and charge $20 to make $800 or $10 (more reasonable) and make $400 and this money will be donated to the WWF [World Wildlife Fund]. And what I plan on doing, is in the people that show up, most won’t care but the people that do wanna adopt an animal I’ll make it so that some of that money goes towards their animal. Why not right? Give somebody a 32” stuffed animal or something, why not? This idea is brilliant! My buddy is learning how to DJ and said he would do it for free and hopefully. It really depends but either way I plan on renting a hall and making a decent profit to donate. BRAVO!

I know what I need, but it can’t be bought… so until then I’ll buy everything I possibly can to take it’s place.

This movie wasn’t as funny as I thought it was going to be but when Ronny brings out the flamethrower to light up Zip’s face, it was really fucking hilarious. I love Vince Vaughn as an actor and I believe that in person he would make a good husband, because I think to create a character you need to have some of those qualities within yourself. I’ll never know but it doesn’t mean I can’t hope all movie characters could exist :)

FIGHTER. SOLDIER. MACHINE.

Fighter- you get back up.
Soldier- you move forward.
Machine- you never stop coming back.

I wanna stand for something, stand strong, stand forever.

I really enjoyed this movie! I fell in love with the main character, I found him quite lovable and charming. Tough guy with a soft center, my favorite. Good sense of humor and stands up for people, I don’t know why you wouldn’t like him. I thought this movie was freaking cute and a well-done Western. I like Paul Gross as an actor and the outtakes at the end were hilarious!

“A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca

I'm just another teenage girl waiting on something beautiful to happen.

Even the blissful thought of a slow dance with a stranger is a piece of faith towards serendipity. My eighteenth masquerade birthday and I have the potential at meeting somebody pretty amazing. Thomas. It intrigues me to the point where for a month I’ll be creating magical scenarios until we meet and I either feel something or I don’t. However, the moment is so small and ordinary that the month before is what truly counts. The dreamer within, the breathing entity of pure, crystal, hope.

Disney Princesses are dreamers.

Pretty much all Disney Princesses are dreamers. Dreaming of being apart of our world, dreaming of leaving their tower, dreaming for something better, someone better. Princesses dream of a better place, a wonderful place, somewhere they will eventually end up. Cinderella dreamed for more than chores, and Arial dreamed for more than just the life of a mermaid and Rapunzel dreamed of adventure. They were all dreamers, so if you’re a dreamer, than you’re royalty in the world of Disney.

Them indie kids just wanna be like superman with those huge fake glasses they wear. It’s jealousy not individualism :D

I bought a 24 case of the white canned Coca-Cola and got myself a little TY beanie baby that’s named Cotton. For Christmas I’ll be adopting one of these cute little guys and I hope you all do too, or at-least buy some white coke cans and spread the word. http://www.worldwildlife.org. Photo taken by me.

Adopt a polar bear, makes a perfect Christmas gift. http://www.worldwildlife.org. Photo taken by me, this is Cotton with the new Coca-cola can :)

Save the polar bears! Purchase some white Coca-cola cans or the 2 liter ones with the polar bears on it. It’s almost the weekend so you’ll need drinks. Represent! This animal might be our new Canadian animal cause nobody seems to want Beavers anymore… but for that to happen they can’t be drowning in their natural habitat. Support. http://www.worldwildlife.org. Photo is by me and this is my new beanie baby named Cotton.

It’s kinda cute when my puppy keeps my mom up till 2am cause he won’t just go to sleep unless I’m there. That’s frustrating, but rather cute :)

I am so happy with my fridge right now...

cause it’s finally full again and I’m excited to eat tomorrow. I have my grapes, apples, soy protein vanilla chai shake thing, soy milk [chocolate and vanilla], mini ice cream cups, honey roasted peanuts, frozen blueberries, vanilla yogurt granola bars, mandarin oranges and my white polar-bear 24case of coca cola. Life is good. I fucking love having all my fruit to eat and healthy bars and stuff, I just feel better about life when I eat better and I can’t wait to move out and only buy that shit. I don’t want cookies laying around my house and stuff, I just don’t. I want low-fat, light everything. Why not? I wanna eat more at home and enjoy it, fruit is the best thing ever and if I had a fruit platter in my fridge and a beautiful rainbow of juicy color was in my face whenever I opened it I wouldn’t go for a bit of a cinnamon bun cause I just wouldn’t care. I’d rather eat as many grapes as I want than one chocolate bar, it’s as simple as that. You feel good and you can eat more cause the calories are vitamins, and therefore the calories are needed. Breakfast tomorrow, lunch tomorrow… holy man it’s gonna be delightful!

Out-of-Body Image by Caroline Heldman

On a typical day, you might see ads featuring a naked woman’s body tempting viewers to buy an electronic organizer, partially exposed women’s breasts being used to sell fishing line, and a woman’s rear—wearing only a thong—being used to pitch a new running shoe. Meanwhile, on every newsstand, impossibly slim (and digitally airbrushed) cover “girls” adorn a slew of magazines. With each image, you’re hit with a simple, subliminal message: Girls’ and women’s bodies are objects for others to visually consume.

If such images seem more ubiquitous than ever, it’s because U.S. residents are now exposed to 3,000 advertisements a day—as many per year as those living a half century ago would have seen in a lifetime. The Internet accounts for much of this growth, and young people are particularly exposed to advertising: 70 percent of 15- to 34-year-olds use social networking technologies such as MySpace and Facebook, which allow advertisers to infiltrate previously private communication space.

A steady diet of exploitative, sexually provocative depictions of women feeds a poisonous trend in women’s and girl’s perceptions of their bodies, one that has recently been recognized by social scientists as self-objectification—viewing one’s body as a sex object to be consumed by the male gaze. Like W.E.B. DuBois’ famous description of the experience of black Americans, self-objectification is a state of “double consciousness … a sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others.”

Researchers have learned a lot about self-objectification since the term was coined in 1997 by University of Michigan psychology professor Barbara Fredrickson and Colorado College psychology professor Tomi-Ann Roberts. Numerous studies since then have shown that girls and women who self-objectify are more prone to depression and low self-esteem and have less faith in their own capabilities, which can lead to diminished success in life. They are more likely to engage in “habitual body monitoring”—constantly thinking about how their bodies appear to the outside world—which puts them at higher risk for eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia.

Self-objectification has also been repeatedly shown to sap cognitive functioning, because of all the attention devoted to body monitoring. For instance, a recent study by Yale psychologists asked two groups of women to take a math exam—one group in swimsuits, the other in sweaters. The swimsuit-wearers, distracted by body concerns, performed significantly worse than their peers in sweaters.

Fredrickson, along with Michigan communications professor Kristen Harrison (both work within the university’s Institute for Research on Women and Gender), recently discovered that self-objectification actually impairs girls’ motor skills. Their study of 202 girls, ages 10 to 17, found that self-objectification impeded girls’ ability to throw a softball, even after differences in age and prior experience were factored out. Self-objectification forced girls to split their attention between how their bodies looked and what they wanted them to do, resulting in less forceful throws and worse aim.

One of the more stunning effects of self-objectification is its impact on sex. One young woman I interviewed described sex as being an “out of body” experience during which she viewed herself through the eyes of her lover, and, sometimes, through the imaginary lens of a camera shooting a porn film. As a constant critic of her body, she couldn’t focus on her own sexual pleasure.

Self-objectification isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. So what can we do about it? First, we can recognize how our everyday actions feed the larger beast, and realize that we are not powerless. Mass media, the primary peddler of female bodies, can be assailed with millions of little consumer swords. We can boycott companies and engage in other forms of consumer activism, such as socially conscious investments and shareholder actions. We can also contact companies directly to voice our concerns and refuse to patronize businesses that overtly depict women as sex objects.

What would disappear from our lives if we stopped seeing ourselves as objects? Painful high heels? Body hatred? Constant dieting? Liposuction? It’s hard to know. Perhaps the most striking outcome of self-objectification is the difficulty women have in imagining identities and sexualities truly our own. In solidarity, we can start on this path, however confusing and difficult it may be.

CAROLINE HELDMAN, Ph.D, is an assistant professor of politics at Occidental College in Los Angeles. Her work centers primarily on issues of gender and race.

(The full text of this article appears in the Spring issue of Ms. magazine, available on newsstands and by subscription from www.msmagazine.com.)