There is this knot in my stomach, this brutal feeling of wrong.

This twisted decision in this small soul that can barely contain all the past betrayal. I feel the tears swelling up in my eyes and I’m helpless as they fall. Lately things have been so difficult as I hurt people without laying a hand on them, pierced through hearts without even being close enough to hear them beat… hitting people with walls that were built with the guilt of thousands. All this heartache, all these complicated scenarios that should have never been. The words that I’ve been saying lately, these complicated, imperfect sentences that are like thorns slicing through delicate flesh. I sit here in ruins and yet I’m on a throne, a throne of denial and conceded self-worth. Everything has changed and I’m left here with barbed wire as a gut and aching sores around my heart. I am hurt, I am wounded… I was left behind. I’m not sure what to do with these upcoming days and I feel as though I should be locked up like the secrets behind the safe. However, my life shines in the lives of other’s and I cannot bail, I shall not fall, I refuse to run away. This is how it is now, this household of smiles finally burned to the ground and yet these ashes dance around as though they were born to be famous. These ashes made from ruins, made from tears, made from scars that’ll never fade or be hidden in public. They are invisible and yet they perform as though they stare into the eyes of an endless audience. I will never give up, I will never stand down. I am ashes, I am born again… and again. I handle the shade as though I was born in the night and the night will always be my place of refuge. I was born to endure, to communicate, to lead. I was born to shelter, born to fight, born to stand tall and walk up the highest mountains this Earth gave birth to. I am the daughter of darkness and nobody, I repeat, nobody will slow me down.