My mind is tangled up in the memories of yesterday, tripping over the feeling that was once all I needed.

The actions that lined up, one after the other, created the perfect scenario. These actions created a beautiful firework that was lit by blunt remarks and gentle kisses. A firework that detached in the sky, separating into singular stars of color. A majestic rainbow that glowed upon the midnight sky, a daring fireball, a man-made magic. These fireworks blew up in the darkness, making the crowds visible for miles. The audience of this scientific festival shined as if they were bathed in glitter with each shooting bundle of chemicals that shattered right above them. Colors of red, blue, orange, green, purple, yellow and pink illuminated the upper atmosphere. However short this display of ingenuity carried on for, the community never doubted its brilliance. This art-form was like paint splatter temporarily decorating the universe and people would come from all over the world just to get a glimpse. It was kinda like romance, people rushing out to the movies in order to believe in something that you cannot see. Well, I mean you can see the love in somebody's eyes and feel it in their heart as it pumps their rich blood through their body as they make love, but you cannot see love. Love is matched with fireworks because you wait and wait and wait and all of a sudden something goes off in your mind and it can be seen just as clearly as the unique colors detonating all over the world. Love is also magic, a burst of happiness that comes in many shapes and forms. It takes a courageous person to light it up for all to see, and yet, when it can be seen, that is when everybody stares in awh. When a firework is brave enough to light up the night sky, that is when it is truly beautiful. Fireworks blast for only a moment and glide down in ash, but even the fall is graceful, beautiful. The ash seeps into the ground and gets trampled as the crowds move on through to get home, but the ash also goes home. The ash dissipates among the earth and gets set to rest, and although nobody else sees it breaking down, the earth hugs it as the rain pours down and eventually... it rests in peace and another firework lights up the starry sky. Love comes and goes, and yet, even when I'm hugging the earth like ash... I still can't wait to light up like a firework once again. Love... well let's just say I'll never forget my first and never stop looking forward to my next. Love is just... well it's just a beautiful performance that I hope to set a match too once again.

I'm still here, learning how to live like everybody else, but I'm not doing it alone.

We all wander through life trying to find our niche, where we are meant to belong. We ponder our past, present, and future trying to discover where the missing piece is, why we lack the urge to stay where we presently stand. It’s this lifelong quest to create peace of mind, to fulfill the inner box and feel completely whole. The need to belong is international and yet sometimes we discover how far away it can turn out to be. However, sometimes when you take the time to look around, really look, you tend to see things that didn’t register before. I looked around today, as I comfortably sat around the table at The Keg, and I found a sense of belonging that didn’t occur to me before. I found a sense of self, a sense of moving on, a sense of bliss. I belong, right here, in the center of a growing family full of unique characters and different last names. I belong with the Thompson grandparents and the Northern cousins. I am proud to be a Lizee. I love my family and all the last names that connect to it. Tonight was a beautiful, heartwarming reflection on the familiar faces that surround me with laughter and love. I felt peace for the first time in a long time and I’m beginning to realize that I have choices and that I’m not just stuck with a specific handful of people or one path to walk. I’m allowed to wander between groups of friends and boys and stick out the rough patches alone if I feel like it. I’m getting back into the groove of doing homework and not being so anti-social when I get invited out. I’m just another teenage girl learning how to live life as best as she can. I’m making mistakes and drinking too much and I’m just enjoying the ride. Things happen, things change, things keep happening and things keep changing. Sometimes, you just have to live. Just let go and fucking live. I’m slowly learning how to do that and maybe one day I’ll figure it out but I know that I’m not doing it alone. I have my big, heartwarming family full of personality and excitement and friends come and go and lovers shouldn’t be temporary. I’m a Lizee and I’m going to be alright.

You know that feeling? Where you're so hungry you could eat a cow?

Well I pretty much did and I don't feel so bad myself. Probably just gained ten pounds at The Keg but that's life :P