I. am. so. tired. of. everything.

Cause besides all these work hours, late nights, and scrambling to finish homework… I still have faith that things are going to work out eventually. Even though I’m working for money that only means a status to me and car insurance to get there to make money for a fucking status, I still enjoy bits and pieces of it. Even though I`m attending school for shit I only partially care about with people I don’t care to see ever again, I still find myself smiling every now and than. However, most of the time I smile it’s because I have to, saying shit like “how can I help you?” with a huge plastered smile on my face gets to be routine. Few times am I actually “happy” as in the definition and not the fake mask we put on in the morning to make everybody else feel good about themselves. I can’t actually sit here and say that I’m satisfied with my life even though society would name me their prime kind of person. I have a good union job, lots of hours, a fairly held together family with parents that are still happily married and I’m attending the College of my choice even though I could have easily afforded and been accepted into University. I’m a prime cut portion of society’s “right” definition. I suppose that’s why it’s all boring to me though. I know my life is missing some key points, some massive hard-to-miss puzzle pieces but until I know what it is I’ll never be able to seek it out. I’m just, lonely, and it doesn’t matter how many hours I work or how much money I have in my wallet or what my grades are in College. I’m one of the few that views life as so much more than just that.